Thinking a bit lately...

"If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn beween a desire to save and savor the world. And this makes it difficult to plan the day." --E.B. White

The Peace Corps seminar director back at my initial orientation meeting in Philadelphia offered this quote to the newly gathered group of Peace Corps volunteers. The idea has really resonated with me lately; and I have come to enjoy my role as a PCV even more with this sense of serenity.

As I have mentioned before, I have struggled in the first few months in Ruse accepting the idea that I would be working at a school with priviliged students (relatively speaking) in a huge city (relatively speaking) that could and most certainly would go on existing the same way without me in it. How was I supposed to satisfy my desire to 'save the world?'

But the more I harped on this fact, the more it got under my skin. Until a week or so ago when I was looking back through a journal of mine and saw this quote I had taken down back in Philly. It was unbelievable when I read it because it spoke to me so strongly now (much more than when I was back in Philly during April '07).

'Savoring my world' is something I have not been doing enough. Certainly I have had some amazing opportunities since I have been in Bulgaria, and I have done some great things with some great people. But I realized I have not done enough savoring.

In class the other day my class started getting loud. Before Christmas Break, I probably would have raised my voice, told them to quiet down, and I would have become agitated for at least the rest of the class if not the rest of the school day. But with the idea of 'savoring' at the forefront, I simply smiled. I mean lets be honest, all they were doing was joking around. No one was getting hurt and no one was being ugly to anyone else. They were simply being carefree, fun-loving students. I realized I should feel lucky to have the opportunity to teach such warm people. Feeling miserable because they don't always want to learn English with the focus of an adult is self-destructive and unneccesary.

I am learning Bulgarian, meeting amazing people, helping really fun students, all while truly growing as a person; what is there not to savor?

So, I've had this thought of the save/savor complex with me for the past few weeks of my life and it really has made things more rewarding...and most importantly, more fun!

hit 'em straight in 2008

just thought i'd pass along a pretty
ridiculous experience i had earlier in the week...

so, after a great christmas vacation and a freshly restored level of will
I was ready to start the whole teaching thing again...

Tuesday morning I entered my first class with a meticulous lesson plan, a nice shirt and tie, and even a mini rah rah speech to start my students off with in the new year. 'CHALLENGE YOURSELF!' was going to be our new motto and I was going to write it on the board and simply point to it when the students got a little out of hand.

With the attendance book and text book in one hand, I turned the door handle with the other expecting to see 27 smiling faces atop 27 standing 8th graders with the same amount of fortitude that I promised myself I would maintain for at least the next 6 months.

Instead of this, what did I see? three boys and four girls in the back of the classroom 'supermanning that ho' and blaring this wonderful example of songwriting; while the other students were listening to the song on one boy's cell phone and bobbing their heads to the beat, studying this carefully coreographed dance routine.
...Generally speaking I take my role as a teacher over here serious, but at that
time I just had to laugh.